i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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