"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
