Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
