So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just invented taco cereal.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
