On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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