first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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