I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
