i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
