just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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