WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
