i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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