I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
