I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
