He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
