I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
