The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it hurts more in the daytime
and i looked up. we had an audience...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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