from now on my penis is your penis
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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