Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My friends, they love my intelligence
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
