yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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