google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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