so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Shame - the story of my life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
