guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
