What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
