My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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