My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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