i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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