i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
