Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
