I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
