Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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