I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
