Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
