Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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