I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
