just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
