i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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