Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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