Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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