So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
