I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize