Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
