all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
