I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
