I think i peed on brittanys purse
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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