Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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