i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
