my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's great music for shaving your balls
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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