"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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