i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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