I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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