id be glad to
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
