things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
